


waiting to bloom

by dustofwarfare



Series: come aboard (let's go dreaming) [5]
Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: Domestic, F/M, M/M, Multi, Poly V, Polyamory, Post-Canon, Triad - Freeform, becoming a triad, i will die on the hill of this ship thanks, polyamorous v, talking about feelings, this is a threesome for life fight me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-08-11 17:54:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20157664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dustofwarfare/pseuds/dustofwarfare
Summary: Rinoa and Seifer share a boyfriend, a house, and a past that isn't just about fighting on opposite sides of a war. Maybe there's a future that will bring all three of them together -- if they can get past the storm threatening the foundations of the home they've all built together...literally.





	1. i just had the feeling

**Author's Note:**

> This is the second part of the "Come Aboard" series, in which our poly V becomes a triad :D Takes place about a year after the first series, and while you don't need to read it to read this one, you should if you want the backstory. 
> 
> This entire series is self-indulgent polyshipping and I don't care because I LOVE THEM. My thanks to Marmolita, who loves this series and has always encouraged me to write more, for both the enthusiasm and the beta. <3
> 
> Title and chapter titles from the Murder By Death song "Waiting to Bloom" :D

They’ve lived in their house in Balamb three, almost four months when Quistis calls to tell her about the delivery. Apparently, three boxes were delivered to Garden, with Rinoa’s name on them. The cantankerous delivery person was only matched by the obstinate gate guard at Garden, and therefore, the boxes were neither taken away nor brought inside. Instead, the Headmistress tasked with contacting Rinoa and having some cadets transport them to the house she shares with Squall and Seifer. 

Rinoa has no idea what they might be, until she sees the return address. The boxes are from General Caraway’s house in Deling. 

Rinoa’s relationship with her father has only deteriorated since the war. Her being a sorceress is certainly not something over which they’d been able to bond, and he isn’t necessarily Squall’s biggest fan, either -- especially since Squall’s relationship to Laguna Loire became public. Rinoa’s friendship with Seifer -- whom her father views as a war criminal -- certainly hasn’t helped. 

They haven’t spoken since before Rinoa left Garden, and apparently he has no intention of ever doing so, because the crates -- once opened -- contain all her childhood belongings from her bedroom in his house. There’s a single letter, typed and not signed, that reads:  _ this residence has been sold and is no longer owned by General Caraway. No response is required or requested.  _

Rinoa’s never been under the impression that her father would come to understand her or her choices, but she’d hoped that at some time in the future, they could put their differences aside and try and have some sort of relationship. But her mother had also unsuccessfully tried a relationship with him based on duty and not affection, and it had been nothing short of miserable. Rinoa’s been around enough orphans not to want to write off her only living relative, but perhaps a superficial relationship isn’t worth the reminder of her father’s repressive and strict upbringing. 

And there’s really nothing she can do about it, is there, if  _ he’s  _ the one writing  _ her  _ off? 

She cries, because she's a sensitive person and no one likes to be disowned via certified mail, but there’s not much to be done about it. Squall, in his way, tries to be comforting, and Seifer -- well, Seifer’s actually much better about it, taking her out to the beach and lobbing fireballs into the water while encouraging her to have a controlled temper tantrum. It helps more than she thought it would, even if she feels a little bad for the fish caught by her _firaga_. 

Squall leaves for Trabia and the boxes are still sitting in the living room corner. It’s edging into the rainy season in Balamb, which means the weather is in that perfect sweet spot: warm enough to swim during the day, and cool enough to open the windows at night. 

She’s wearing a pair of loose cotton pajama pants and someone’s t-shirt -- Seifer’s, she thinks, because it’s big enough on her to slide down her shoulders -- finally going through the boxes of stuff from her old house. She’s poured herself a glass of wine, there’s some historical drama on television about a prince and his lost love who was drowned by a sea monster, and she’s looking through the second of the three boxes. The first was mostly clothes, and the second has photographs and a stack of stuff she could have sworn she left in Timber. 

That’s the box with the letters, too -- letters from  _ Seifer,  _ back when they’d been dating before the war. She smiles and reads through a few, laughing at Seifer’s dramatic turns of phrase and awkward expressions of affection. He’d been a good boyfriend, and he’d written her, without fail, every week. Aw. She tries to imagine Squall writing her letters and almost chokes on her wine giggling. 

“Did you get drunk and order from Sylph Prime again?” Seifer comes through the door, his helmet tucked under his arm. He and Squall with their motorcycles. They’re ridiculous. 

(Of course, Rinoa won’t let Squall drive her car because he drives too fast, and Seifer says it wasn’t made for anyone over five-foot-eight to sit in comfortably.) 

“No, I opened the boxes from my father’s old house.” She sees him looking at her strangely and frowns. “What? Is that weird?” 

“Is that my shirt?” 

“Oh. Yeah, I grabbed it because it got chilly when the sun went down, c’mere and look at this.” She smiles and scoots over, patting the hardwood floor. “You’ll love it.” 

“That tone of voice means I won’t, but okay.” Seifer shrugs out of his jacket and puts his helmet neatly away. In the months they’ve lived here, she’s noticed he’s actually a lot neater than either her or Squall. 

“Had too much wine, there, Heartilly?” he asks, making his way over past the stuff she’s stacked up in little piles to take a seat on the floor. He’s graceful for being as tall and broad as he is, and she can’t help noticing he’s wearing a tight white shirt with his jeans. His cross tattoo, the same red symbol that once adorned his old favorite coat, is visible through the fabric on his biceps. 

“Um. Why?” So she’s staring, what? He’s hot, and he totally knows it. 

“Your face is all flushed. What are you -- oh, no.” Seifer’s eyes go wide. He snatches one of the letters up, having clearly recognized his own handwriting. “What the hell, why would you  _ ever  _ keep these?” 

“I was a sixteen year old girl, and my dashing mercenary boyfriend  _ mailed them to me  _ and called me  _ beautiful _ ,” Rinoa croons, giggling as she grabs another letter. “What girl  _ wouldn’t  _ have kept them?” She points at him and laughs. “Now whose face is red, huh, Almasy?” 

“Hyne,” he swears, and then reaches out -- not for the letters, but her wine glass. He drains the rest of it, makes a face and says, “Do we have any whiskey?” 

“You misspelled  _ resistance _ ,” she says, scanning another letter. “But it’s nice to know you think I’m worth throwing yourself over a barricade. I think you might have spelled that wrong, too, but I’m not sure what that letter is.” 

“I was probably thinking about your boobs, would you -- ugh,” Seifer scowls, reaching over and trying to grab the letter. “Can’t we put sixteen year old me in the sea?” 

“No way!” She ducks out of his reach and gets up on her knees, reading, “ _ I think about you a lot and I hope you are well. When I come visit you should show me your favorite place in Timber, so I can kiss you there and it will be my favorite place, too _ .” 

Seifer groans and falls back on the floor. “I hate you. I hate me for that. You should be embarrassed you let me in your pants.” 

“Seifer, these are really sweet,” Rinoa says, as she reads the rest. “In this one you remembered about my wanting to go to the ballet in Deling at Yule and how I was worried my father would send soldiers to drag me home, if he saw me there. You said -- aw. You said you’d protect me from him.” Rinoa, still a little emotional about her father’s utter disinterest in her existence, sniffles. “I shouldn’t be making fun of you. You were a great boyfriend.” 

“Yeah, I know, you’re a bitch.” He sits up, but he still looks sort of embarrassed. “I was probably writing that so you’d be so impressed, you’d give me a blowjob by wherever that favorite place in Timber was.” 

“You were not.” At his raised eyebrow look, she sticks her tongue out. “Okay, maybe you were, but you meant this stuff! Don’t break sixteen-year-old me’s heart and say you were just doing it to get laid.” 

Part of Seifer’s thing is that he’s actually a terrible liar. “Not  _ just  _ to get laid, but look, I was a hormone riddled teenager so yeah, it was probably at least  _ part  _ of it.” 

“Fifty-fifty?” She asks, smiling. “Or like, forty-sixty?” 

“Eighty-twenty,” he says, smirking.

“What!” Rinoa tries to thwap him with the letter. “That better be eighty-percent romance, twenty percent sex.” 

“Sure thing,” he says, laughing outright. Seifer’s laugh is much louder than Squall’s. “Don’t you dare show these to Squall, Rin, or I will tell him how I saw you use Lionheart to open the that makeup pallet.” 

“Oooh! Let’s not start this game, Mr. I Got Drunk When Squall Was In Galbadia And Tried On His Cropped Leather Jacket.” 

“His fault for leaving it,” Seifer says, and then his brow furrows and he reaches past her to grab at something in the box. “Wow, Heartilly. Look at us. Couple of kids.” He shows her what he’s found, which is a photograph of the two of them, that summer in Timber. 

Seifer is wearing his favorite coat, and it looks -- too new, a little big, and blinding-white. Rinoa’s in a blue dress, hair longer than she’s worn it in years and tied back in a ponytail secured with a white ribbon. Seifer has his arm around her and is smiling like the cocky young man he’d been, and she’s leaning into him, looking as content as a sixteen year old who is having a summer fling with a super hot guy can look. 

“That was Zone’s party, do you remember?” she asks, then laughs. “I wonder how many people have a photograph taken the first night they got laid.” She spies something in the box and pulls it out -- it’s the same white ribbon, folded and pressed. “I guess I kept this as a momento. Wow. How extra.” 

“ _ Extra _ was like, my middle name at the time.” He’s still studying the picture. “This is -- we look young. It wasn’t even that long ago, but it sure feels like it was.” 

Of course it does. There’s an entire war separating them from that moment. It doesn’t matter how much time really passed, it’s enough to make it feel like an eternity. “Hey,” she says, suddenly. “You still have that coat, right? Because I totally found that dress in the first box.” 

Seifer gives her a weird look. “Yeah, it’s in my closet, why?” 

“Get it,” she instructs. “I’ll see if I can still fit in that dress and we’re taking another photo. The  _ fuck you, universe and Time Kompression, we survived  _ version! C’mon, it’ll be fun!” 

“Your idea of fun is stupid,” Seifer tells her, but sighs and stands up, holding his hand out to help her up. “I do this, you don’t ever show Squall those letters, right?” 

“Right. But they’re still sweet, and I’m glad I have them.” Rinoa reaches out and lets him tug her up. They’ve progressed past their issues with the sort of casual touches you give your friends, and Rinoa’s glad about that, since Seifer gives good hugs. But she notices a little rush of something like heat when his larger hand curls around hers to pull her up. 

It’s not like she doesn’t know Seifer’s hot, he’s actually hotter  _ now  _ than he was back then. But -- well, it doesn’t matter. “Yeah, well, I got a mean reputation and you can’t ruin it, okay? Let’s do this before it starts raining.”

Rinoa has a bit of a hard time fitting into her dress, because she’s added some ass-kicking muscles since she was sixteen, and her hair is freshly cut and doesn’t go up in the same neat ponytail but whatever, she ties the ribbon in her hair as best she can and goes out to see Seifer in the living room. 

The coat was a bit too large in the picture, and now it’s a bit too snug -- especially in the shoulders, since Seifer’s  _ also  _ put on some ass-kicking muscles since he was sixteen. “This thing is hot.” 

“I know, right,” she says, leering a little, but suddenly she feels a little silly in this old dress, her hair in a ribbon. She and Seifer are friends and that’s more than she might have ever thought they’d be, shortly after this photo was taken and everything went to hell. 

“I meant, like. It’s too warm. Well, come over here, I’m starving. Let’s get this done so I can make dinner, unless you’re doing it, in which case I’ll have to make myself something anyway after you burn whatever it is you’ll try to -- hey, ow!” 

She stomps on his foot, but given he’s still wearing his boots and she’s barefoot, his response is clearly an exaggeration. “Come on, you take the picture, your arm is longer.” 

“Okay.” Seifer glances at the old picture, which Rinoa holds in her left hand, then slings one arm around her and tucks her into his side. “Say  _ stupid teenagers in love,  _ I guess.” 

She’s a bit thrown by his arm around her, and maybe it’s just memories or the wine, but she says, “How about just,  _ teenagers in love,  _ we weren’t as stupid as we could have been.” 

“Speak for yourself,” Seifer says, with the slightest edge of bitterness, and then takes the picture. 

***

Rinoa sends the picture to Squall over text. 

_ Found this old photo of me and Seifer from Timber, so we recreated it, look!  _

She chews on her lip while she waits for him to reply. She feels weird, like she’d done something she shouldn’t, which is just silly. 

His response is,  _ you look cute. Tell S that coat’s way too small.  _

Well, that’s -- very Squall, isn’t it? She reaches out with the bond, wondering if he’s angry but there’s nothing there but gentle tired affection. He’s probably worn out from being around people, and it’s not as if she explained that this photograph was taken the first time she and Seifer had sex. And it’s not like he doesn’t know that they were each other’s first. 

This is silly. She and Seifer aren’t romantically involved but they’re friends, they live together, they have a past and they share a boyfriend. Squall doesn’t think they retreat to separate rooms and don’t talk when he’s not there, and he  _ likes  _ when they get along. 

Rinoa puts it out of her mind. She puts all the stuff away that she wants to keep, donates some clothes and puts Seifer’s letters and the ribbon in a box in the closet. She gets a copy of the photograph of her and Seifer and puts it in a side-by-side frame with the original, in one of those frames that says  _ FRIENDS  _ on it. Rinoa hangs it in the living room. 

Seifer rolls his eyes and scoffs, but she thinks he’s pleased.

She shows it to Squall when he gets home. He smiles and tells her he likes the ribbon.


	2. i was in a dark room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well,” Seifer says, “You remember when we fought in Esthar, the Lunatic Pandora?” When she nods, he says, “You threw like, six, seven tornado spells at me and I survived that. And I saw Fu knock you over a few times with her wind magic, and here you are, so. I guess wind isn’t our elemental weakness. Yay?” 
> 
> Those aren’t very good odds, but she supposes they’ve faced worse. 
> 
> \-----------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> You can't do anything about the weather. Unless you're Rinoa. 
> 
> (In which Rinoa battles a typhoon to save her house, and Seifer is _into it_.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, I don't know the ins and outs of sorceress powers, but whatever, Rinoa's a badass.

As the summer ends and the rainy season kicks up in truth, a few things happen in quick succession. 

One, Squall agrees to do an exchange program to teach some survival camping skills to students at Trabia Garden. He doesn’t really  _ want  _ to, but, as he tells Seifer and Rinoa, it means getting out of meetings  _ and  _ he won’t have to go to the Galbadian Peace Summit, which he and Seifer refer to as the Galbadian Piece of Shit Summit (boys, ugh) and which puts Squall in a raging bad mood for at least week before, during and after. And, Seifer’s going to go with him because it’s during a break at Garden, so they’ll have some boyfriend time doing...camping things, whatever, Rinoa doesn’t much mind missing out on that. 

They seem happy about it, though, and while she’s considering if she wants to plan a girl’s night  _ and  _ a spa weekend while Squall and Seifer are out, she gets a call from Laguna. 

“Hey, there, lovely!” he says, his voice warm. “How’s my favorite sorceress?” 

Laguna is, without a doubt, one of Rinoa’s favorite people in the whole world. She’s so happy that he and Squall found each other, even though her boyfriend very rarely has any idea what to do with his gregarious, warm-hearted, goofy father. “Hi, Laguna. I’m great!” 

“How’s the house?” he asks, and they chat for a bit about the new place and the weather, and then Laguna says, “I heard my kid and Seifer were going up north to Trabia, and hey, you know you can make all the international calls you want from Esthar, free of charge! Meaning, you should totally come for a visit and you can make all your Calls for World Peace in my office. And Ellone’ll be here, too! What do you think?” 

She has to smile at the offer. It’s probably because Squall told him about Rinoa’s father disowning her, and Laguna wans to step up -- not only because of Squall being her boyfriend, but because he’d once loved Rinoa’s mom. “I think that sounds great, Laguna. Garden’s off for exams, you mind if Quistis and Selphie come with me?” 

“Selphie? My number one fan? Never! She’s more than welcome, and Quistis, of course, of course.” 

“Seifer will be jealous if he hears you think Selphie’s your number one fan,” Rinoa teases, and Laguna laughs. 

“Look, I can send the Ragnarok if you want,” he offers. “Otherwise, it’ll take you way too long to even get here.” 

Having the  _ President of Esthar  _ send an airship just for her? “You know how to spoil a girl, Laguna.” She wonders if she gets to meet the man he’s dating, who’s a liquor distributor from some place she’s never heard of. Squall says the guy looks like a Deling gangster but Rinoa’s pretty sure Squall’s just being over protective of his dad, even if he’d never admit it. 

“Well, hey, it’s not like it’s doing anything else, just sitting there,” Laguna says. “All sad ‘cause it’s not in the sky. Airship’s gotta….air, Rinoa.” 

He’s so goofy, it’s charming even if she still sometimes can’t believe he’s Squall’s father. Then again, Squall also really likes that airship. “It’s the rainy season,” she reminds him. “The storms won’t be a problem, right?” She doesn’t want to put anyone in danger, when honestly, she could just take a train to Esthar and have Squall and Seifer meet up when they’re done in Trabia. 

“Nah, should be fine,” Laguna assures her. “It rains here, too, but as long as you don’t have a typhoon or anything, you’ll be good to go.” 

“Did Squall put you up to this because of what happened with my father?” she asks, before they hang up. 

“Hmm? What’s that?” Laguna is a terrible liar, like Seifer. Squall and his mom must have had the same taste in men. “Squall didn’t tell me a thing, nope.” 

She smiles and lets it go, ending their call and checking to see if Quistis and Selphie want a private airship trip to Esthar over break -- as she figured, Quistis has too much work but Selphie’s in as long as she gets her grades turned in on time. 

Rinoa is telling Squall all about her plans and  _ just  _ about to mention the whole  _ did you tell your dad that my father sent me my stuff and a typed get lost letter _ , but Squall’s phone rings with his emergency Garden tone and he answers it with a terse, “Leonhart, what is it?” 

Rinoa, figuring it’s about work, heads down the hall -- and then stops as panic assails her over the bond, a sick twist of worry in her stomach that is coming straight from Squall. She dashes back into the living room to see him shoving his feet in his boots, snapping to whoever’s on the phone, “How bad is he hurt?” and she knows it has to be Seifer. 

And that’s the second thing that happens -- Seifer, because he insists on riding his motorcycle to and from Garden  _ even when it’s pouring down rain _ \-- hits a slick patch and gets pitched off his bike, right into a patch of funguars. He was, luckily, not that far from Garden and the accident was witnessed by another commuting staff member, so they rushed him to Dr. Kadowaki’s infirmary fairly quickly. 

When Rinoa and Squall arrive, Seifer is scowling and in a bad mood, roughed up from the road and Squall’s staring at him like he’s going to punch him in the face for making him worry. 

“I’m fine,” Seifer says, immediately, eyes going right Squall’s. The way they stare at each other is intense, and Rinoa’s amused at how it’s obvious that Dr. Kadowaki and her staff aren’t sure if they’re going to shout at each other or make out. “Seriously, stop junctioning, you’re being crazy. What’s Shiva gonna do, anyway? Freeze me better?” 

“Freeze your mouth shut, maybe,” Squall mutters, arms across his chest. 

“Has that worked, yet?” Seifer asks, head tilted, giving Squall a cocky smirk that is only a little strained from the pain of whatever Kadowaki is doing to his ankle to make sure it’s not broken. 

Rinoa hides a laugh in a cough. A quick scan of her magic shows her that Seifer is fine -- though he has a concussion, which Dr. Kadowaki confirms before letting them take Seifer home. Seifer, predictably, grumbles about having to ride in the back of Rinoa’s “tiny-ass car.” 

“You make enough money to buy yourself a car, you know,” Squall says, turning around -- Rinoa decides it’s best if she drives home -- and glaring at Seifer, who’s trying to find some way to be comfortable in the back of the convertible.

Rinoa sees Seifer glare from the rearview mirror. “ _ You  _ ride your bike.” 

“I don’t fall off, though.” 

“You know, Squall, take your motorcycle and shove it up your --” 

“Should I stop at that pizza place that just opened?” Rinoa interrupts. “We need something for dinner.” 

They do, and Rinoa lets them bicker in the car while she goes in to order and then they head home. Seifer’s injuries are mostly just road rash from his tumble, a sprained ankle, and a few stings from the funguar which are easily treated by a potion. But the concussion means someone has to wake him up every two hours, so Rinoa makes Seifer go sleep in the bedroom she usually shares with Squall. It’s got the biggest bed, and Seifer protests until Rinoa gives him a little shove and threatens to pull out all those romantic letters to show Squall if he doesn’t do it. 

“I’m gonna have to tell Squall about those myself so you don’t get to use them as leverage,” Seifer growls, but he strips down to his boxer-briefs and climbs into bed. Seeing him there, a little beaten up and slightly damp from their walk into the house, scowling and mostly naked -- well, Rinoa finds herself staring a little too much. She hopes no one notices. 

But is it a problem if anyone notices? It shouldn’t be, she’s seen Seifer buck naked with his tongue in Squall’s ass. This is fine. 

Squall trying to caretake is hilarious -- he wakes Seifer up by straddling him and tapping him on the face, going, “If you die I will have Rinoa revive you then kill you for making me worry.” 

“Stop being so you,” Seifer says, in response. “Wake me up with your mouth on my dick next time, asshole.” 

Rinoa snorts a laugh, hugs one of Seifer’s pillows and lets the two of them be. 

Seifer doesn’t die, Squall doesn’t kill him and Rinoa doesn’t have to revive anyone, but the concussion means that camping in Trabia is right out. Rinoa talks him into coming with her and Selphie to Esthar, and it cheers him up mainly because he gets to make comments to Squall about hanging out with Squall’s hot dad. 

Except then, the third thing happens. 

Which is the typhoon. 

Squall’s already left for Trabia, and Rinoa is doing laundry to pack for their upcoming trip when Quistis calls her. 

“I think maybe you and Seifer should come to Garden,” Quistis says. Her voice is crackling a bit. “There’s a typhoon warning.” 

“Wait, what?” Rinoa laughs because honestly, what? A  _ typhoon _ ? They haven’t one of those here in years! “You’re kidding, right?” 

“Rinoa, have you even watched the Weather Channel?” Quistis huffs. 

No, because she’s not a sixty-six year old man? Who watches the  _ Weather Channel?  _ Rinoa goes into the living room and switches on the television, navigating to the channel and expecting to hear that Quistis is exaggerating. 

She should have known better. 

“....typhoon warning for those near Balamb, citizens are urged to evacuate to safe locations. Balamb Garden is opening up for any and all residents who live near the coast.” 

In a daze, she goes to find Seifer. The garage was turned into a workout space shortly after they moved in, and that’s where she finds him -- flat on his back on the weight bench. She frowns, forgetting for a moment the impending weather doom. “Are you supposed to be doing that?” 

“Yeah, as long as I don’t drop it on my head.” He sits up, skin lightly shining with sweat, and glances at her. “What’s up?” 

Rinoa bites her lip. “Um, there’s a typhoon. Heading for Balamb.” 

Seifer laughs. “There is  _ not _ . C’mon, no way are we so unlucky that we bought a house on the beach where a typhoon hasn’t hit in like, six zillion years, only to have a typhoon hit in --” he frowns. “No, wait, that’s  _ exactly  _ our luck, what am I saying right now?” 

She laughs a little wildly. “What should we do?” 

Seifer is in a dark green tank top and workout pants, barefoot, Squall’s Griever pendant a silver gleam against the fabric. “Well, we’re leaving for Esthar, right? I guess meet up with Squall in Trabia after that and….wait, don’t tell me. Laguna can’t send an airship.” 

“He said it’d be fine as long as there  _ wasn’t a typhoon _ .” Rinoa stares at him. “Seifer, why?” 

“Because, uh, time kompression? Honestly, Rin, I have no idea.” He looks around and scowls. “Is it going to hit our actual house, or can we board up the windows and hope for the best?” 

“Yeah. We’re pretty much living in the trajectory, whatever you call it.” She presses her hands to her face. “We’re supposed to go to the evacuation center, which is Garden.” 

“I can’t even have a week off from that place, great,” Seifer groans, flopping back on the bench. “I guess we should tell Squall. Except, no, that fucking idiot will ride down here on a chocobo, so, probably let’s not do that. When does this motherfucking goddamn storm hit us?” 

“The reports say it will make landfall the day after tomorrow.” Her eyes fill with sudden tears. Rinoa’s never had a home before, not of her own. She went from her father’s house, stifling and full of repression, to a lodge in Timber with six other people, sharing facilities like some kind of hippie revolutionary camp. Then it was the war, and she remembers that all too well -- bombs in the sky above Trabia and Balamb, running toward safety with the taste of fear acrid and sharp in her mouth. 

Esthar, monsters on the street. The lurid, sick tower of the Lunatic Pandora. The monument that was supposed to be her tomb. Space pressing all around her as she drifted, afraid and alone. Garden, weird and unfamiliar with only Squall there to make her feel like she kind of, sort of, just maybe, belonged. 

“The goddamn typhoon can  _ fuck the hell off _ ,” Rinoa snarls, and there’s an echo of some ancient power thrumming in her words, her hair blowing from some ethereal breeze. Her eyes feel like they’re burning and there’s something wrong with her feet. “It is  _ not  _ taking my  _ home _ . I’ve given up enough. We all have.” 

“Rin,” Seifer says, pleasantly enough, but his face is white and his eyes are about as wide as they get. “Stop levitating and doing your best evil sorceress impersonation and let’s figure this out, because right now you’re scarier than the typhoon.” 

Oh. Right. She bites her lip and dials it back, giving him a sheepish look. “I have a lot of feelings about this house.” 

Seifer stares at her some more, unmoving. “Uh huh. You go call Laguna, okay? I’ll…make my muscles move again and we’ll figure this out.” 

She feels bad, given she knows Seifer’s experience with sorceresses, but also...seriously,  _ fuck  _ the weather. “We’ll be okay, won’t we?”

“Well,” Seifer says, “You remember when we fought in Esthar, the Lunatic Pandora?” When she nods, he says, “You threw like, six, seven tornado spells at me and I survived that. And I saw Fu knock you over a few times with her wind magic, and here you are, so. I guess wind isn’t our elemental weakness. Yay?” 

Those aren’t very good odds, but she supposes they’ve faced worse. 

Rinoa calls Laguna and tells him about the storm, then assures him they’ve got a plan and of  _ course _ Squall knows what’s happening. Which he does, kind of, because she manages to send a message over the bond of  _ bad weather, we’re staying home _ , which is probably way less than she should tell him but it then again, it’s not like a telegraph system and there’s no other way to get in contact. 

And Seifer’s not wrong about Squall heading home on a chocobo if he knew just how bad it really was. 

“Well, I hope you and Seifer know if you need me, I’ll fly that ship myself. I can do it, and hey, I do love a good adventure!” 

At least she knows where Squall got the nerve to fling himself into space from. “It’s fine, really. But we’ll come up there soon to visit, I promise!” 

“Be safe, kiddo. I like you and Seifer. Tell him we should definitely try this plan again.” 

She doesn’t quite understand until she’s taking down all the breakables from the wall, one of which is the frame with the photographs of her and Seifer. Then she thinks about what Laguna said,  _ we should definitely try this plan again _ , and she gets it. 

It wasn’t Squall that told Laguna about her father. It was  _ Seifer.  _

Rinoa thinks about this as they work, getting the house ready to weather a storm that it should probably not survive. They stock up on some food and get blankets ready, and Rinoa tells Quistis a hundred times that they’ll be fine. She’s a  _ sorceress _ . 

The storm hits mid-morning. By then, Balamb is a ghost town, with most of the residents having moved up to Garden after multiple and trusted weather reports told them they probably should. They lose power shortly after it makes landfall, and then the house starts to  _ shake.  _ It reminds Rinoa of the Ragnarok re-entering orbit, after Squall rescued her from space. It shook, too. 

Seifer’s stocked up on Barrier, so he throws up some even though she can tell it’s hurting him because of his concussion. It’s also not very helpful, though she won’t tell him that. Paramagic is useful but in this situation it’s a bit like trying to stop a deluge with an umbrella. 

Rinoa turns to Seifer and says, “Keep up that Barrier spell, okay? I’ll be right back.” 

“Rinoa, if you end up dead, Squall will kill me. And you won’t be there to revive me.” Seifer calls, but he’s smart enough not to stop her. 

A wave of her hand has the boards removed and the back door open, and Rinoa steps outside and nearly falls over as the wind and rain assail her. A quick spell keeps her grounded, and then she looks out to the sea. 

Rinoa has seen and experienced many things in her young life that are indescribable; being a teenage revolutionary, drifting in outer space, being strapped to the chest of a witch who wanted to use her to compress time, falling in love with Squall Leonhart. And standing magically rooted to the weathered wood of the back deck of her home while the sea rages and the sky  _ churns,  _ dark and malevolent. She’s only able to keep herself still thanks to her magic, and she’s only able to do this because sorceress powers are the very essence of mana itself; unlike paramagic, Rinoa’s entire body is  _ made  _ of mana and there’s no real limit to what she can do. 

And what she’s going to do is save Balamb from being wiped off the face of the planet by a  _ typhoon.  _

She spreads her arms and thinks about living here in Balamb; they might think she’s scary and they might think it’s weird that she and Squall and Seifer all live together, but they smile and say hi and have never treated her like an outcast. They have a household account at the grocery store under the name  _ Heartilly Almasy Leonhart _ . They have a deck and Seifer bought a grill and tried to light the propane tank with a fire spell and almost caught Squall’s hair on fire, and he had to put it out with ice magic and then gave him a lecture. They don’t just live here. This is their  _ home _ . 

Rinoa saved the world. The least it could do in return is not send a killer storm to her  _ doorstep _ . She raises her arms, faces the storm, and shouts, as loud as she can, “ _ No! _ ” 

The words aren’t necessary, but it feels good to say them. 

Rinoa lets her power flow and trusts the innate ability that runs alongside the blood in her veins, feels herself lifting up in the air as she throws her magic at the storm. The wind dies down and the rain stops, and Rinoa doesn’t think she’s ever felt more truly  _ herself  _ than she does in this moment. 

She can hear sounds like voices ringing in her head, the sorceresses who went before, and usually that frightens her -- considering a few tried to kill her -- but this time, she just lets them speak and listens, eventually adding her voice to theirs. 

She has no idea how long she holds the forcefield, but somehow she just knows when it’s enough and that the real danger is over. When she lets her magic go she falls to her hands and knees, vaguely aware of the sound of the door opening behind her. 

“Hey.” It’s Seifer. His voice is very quiet. “Rin?” 

She turns her head to look up at him, then gets shakily to her feet. Using her body as a conduit for all that immense power feels a lot like she just did one of Quistis’s pilates workouts. She pushes her soaked hair out of her face, orienting herself. It’s cloudy and still raining, but nothing like before. 

Seifer takes a half-step toward her and then stops. “So that -- you did that.” He waves vaguely at the sky, a Shield spell surrounding him and glowing faintly. 

“You -- the Shield spell,” Rinoa says, laughing weakly. “You can put it down, now.” 

“Sure.” Seifer’s spell vanishes, and really, the only thing it was doing was keeping the rain off himself --  _ an umbrella in a deluge  _ \-- and now he’s getting wet, too. But this is just a storm, and that’s fine. No one’s going to lose their house. Maybe just a few tree limbs.

Rinoa pushes her hair out of her face and glances around. The waves are still coming fast and high, way more than she’s used to here in Balamb, but no longer dangerous. She turns her face up to the sky and lets the cool rain chill her too-hot skin. 

She turns and sees Seifer, and it occurs to her that he’s probably seen a sorceress use her powers like that, and it’s likely not a very happy memory. “I  _ had  _ to do it. What’s the point of having these powers if I can’t use them to help people?”

“Yeah,” Seifer says, still staring. He’s barefoot, blond hair plastered to his head and just as soaked now as she is. 

“Ugh.” She shivers a little as her body temperature slowly returns to normal. “I just scared the shit out of you, didn’t I?” Was he going to have a flashback to Ultimecia? Be afraid of her again? Are they going to go back to that place where she’s not allowed to hug him? She hates the thought of that, but what was she supposed to do? 

“Rinoa?” 

“Yeah?” She steps closer, intending to go inside now that the danger has passed and all she’s doing is standing outside getting progressively colder and wetter. 

“That,” Seifer says, voice rough, “was hot as  _ fuck _ .” 

Rinoa blinks, and she’s standing close enough that she can feel the heat from Seifer’s body; he’s probably got Ifrit junctioned and ready to go, and his body always seems to run warmer than Squall’s. “I thought you’d be freaked out.” 

“Yeah, no,” says Seifer, and then -- he reaches out, pulls her in, and kisses her. 

It’s been years since she’s kissed Seifer, and despite all the things they’ve done in  _ front  _ of each other with Squall, this is a thousand times more intimate. Seifer’s body is warm and his hands are so big, sliding down to her hips and drawing her against him. He’s hard and his tongue is in her mouth, and he was the first guy who ever kissed her but no  _ way  _ was he this good at it back then. 

She kisses him back, arms around his neck, fingers sliding up into his hair. She has to stand on tiptoes to reach him, so he lifts her a little and she wants to put her legs around his waist and -- 

_ Crash.  _

They both jump as a piece of patio furniture falls over right behind her. It’s not even theirs, so it must have shown up before she came outside. 

They move slightly away from each other. Seifer says, “It’s still storming,” like maybe she hadn’t noticed. 

Rinoa’s mouth is tingling and her body is buzzing again, and this time it has nothing to do with being a sorceress. But when they get inside, her phone starts ringing and vibrating like crazy. Thinking it’s Quistis, and still a little thrown by  _ kissing Seifer,  _ she answers it without bothering to see who’s calling. 

“Rinoa,” Squall says, sounding frantic. “What the fuck did you just  _ do _ ?” 

Panicked, Rinoa blurts out, “Squall! It was --it just happened!” 

“Are you okay?” Squall demands, and his voice -- she doesn’t think she’s heard him sound like this since he stopped her from getting on that ship back in Esthar. “Are you hurt? I’m on my way, I’ll get there as soon as I can.” 

Wait, what? He was so upset that she kissed Seifer, he was coming back from Trabia? And why -- why did he think -- 

“ _ Rinoa _ !” 

“Squall, I’m fine,” she says, honestly confused, and then it hits her. She just unleashed power enough to stop a  _ typhoon _ , and no matter how far away they were, Squall was going to notice. Notice, and probably freak the fuck out since she’d not had a second to try and, oh, tell him what she was going to. “The storm was going to take out our house. And Balamb. And I -- I couldn’t let that happen.” 

Squall breathes out. “I thought -- I thought,” he says, again, and then just shoves all his feelings that he can’t put into words at her; love and worry and his own helplessness at not being there, as if he could have done anything. 

Well, now she feels awful. “There wasn’t time, Squall. I’m sorry, I had to.” 

“Yeah. Next time. Maybe a little warning.” He breathes out. “I’m coming home.” 

“Squall, you don’t have to --” 

“Let me talk to Seifer,” he says, and she rolls her eyes and passes the phone over. 

“The boyfriend,” she says, and Seifer huffs a laugh before taking the phone. 

“Yeah, hi. It’s fine. We’re fine.” Seifer casts his eyes up at the ceiling. “Squall. Stop fussing. Yes, you are.” He pauses. “Why? It’s the same house you left, but now we have someone else’s patio furniture on our back deck. No one’s hurt, would you -- just finish your damn camping trip and -- oh, my god. I’m hanging up on you. Yes, I am. Deal with it.” Seifer holds the phone out and presses the  _ end call  _ button. 

Rinoa takes her phone back. The power is back on and she feels a little awkward, shivering and aware she’s still soaking wet. She glances at Seifer and her face heats, but all she says is, “Do you really think he’s going to listen?” 

“No, but he’s an idiot and I’m not humoring him.” Seifer leans back against the counter, arms crossed over his chest. “So are we gonna tell him about that?” 

“That we’re not humoring him for being an idiot?” 

“Rin, do  _ not  _ pull a Squall on me right now and pretend you don’t understand something.” Seifer’s eyes narrow. “You know what I mean.” 

She does. And she has no idea what to say. “I think we should.” She feels guilty about it, but should she? Should either of them? Squall’s never acted as if he cares about the two of them being physical with each other, mostly his concern has been that Seifer  _ not  _ do it if it’s going to bring back bad memories. “I --don’t like the idea of not telling him,” she says, giving him a questioning look. “Do you?” 

“No, not really. I don’t think he’ll care.” Seifer looks like he wants to ask her something, and Rinoa…well, she wonders if it’s the same thing she wants to ask, too. 

She can hold back a typhoon, but she can’t say  _ so, do you want to do it again?  _

Because, she realizes, she  _ does _ want to do it again. The question is...does he? And if he does....should they? She just saved them from one natural disaster. Is this just asking for one she can't use her magic to stop? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Squall Does Not Understand His Partners At All, Sometimes


	3. i was underwater

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Squall strides into the kitchen with Lionheart in hand, as if the storm has turned into an iron giant and is holding them hostage in their kitchen. 
> 
> “Seriously, you’re so extra, I can’t even,” Seifer says, rolling his eyes. “What are you going to do, Ranzokuken the garlic bread?” 
> 
> \---
> 
> (In which Squall comes home ready to unleash hell on a typhoon and ends up utterly confused about why everyone's having so many feelings. Also, Rinoa and Seifer rekindle an old attraction, and the rating of this fic gets bumped up to E :D)

Of course Squall heads home immediately. Neither Rinoa nor Seifer believed he’d do anything else. 

By the time he arrives, Rinoa has already been to Garden to answer a few frank questions about what happened. Quistis wants her to make her involvement public but Rinoa doesn’t want to; she can already imagine what might happen if something tragic  _ does  _ befall Balamb, and she can’t stop it. Space will be the least of her worries. No, it’s best to let people wonder. Safer. 

They’ve not spoken about the kiss, other than agreeing that Rinoa will tell Squall about it when he gets home. 

Squall roars up on his motorcycle when they’re both in the kitchen, Seifer making dinner and Rinoa sipping some wine. She tells herself she’s being silly to think Squall’s going to care, but the worry is there all the same. 

Squall strides into the kitchen with Lionheart in hand, as if the storm has turned into an iron giant and is holding them hostage in their kitchen. 

“Seriously, you’re so extra, I can’t even,” Seifer says, rolling his eyes. “What are you going to do, Ranzokuken the garlic bread?” 

“There’s garlic bread?” Rinoa perks up, moving over to fling her arms around Squall and hug him in welcome. “We’re fine, see? Hi! I missed you.” She tugs him down and kisses him, and she can feel his overwhelming surge of emotion both in their bond and in the way he hauls her in like he’s trying to Ranzokuken  _ her _ . 

“Seifer,” he snaps, when he pulls back. 

“Squall,” Seifer says, sounding amused. 

“Get  _ over  _ here,” Squall says, glaring over Rinoa’s shoulder. 

“You want a kiss, you come over here and give me one.” Seifer leans back against the counter. 

Squall does, by half-lifting Rinoa -- which isn’t  _ that  _ easy, he’s really not that much taller than she is -- and dragging her over to where Seifer is watching. He grabs Seifer and kisses  _ him _ , and Rinoa wonders what Squall would do if she just followed that kiss up with one of her own. 

“The next time there’s something like that happening and I’m not here --” 

“We’ll handle it,” Seifer says, pushing Squall back. “You’re not the only person in this relationship that can handle bad shit, Leonhart, and you know what? There was really nothing you could have done, anyway. My Barrier basically kept the rain off when I went out and watched Rinoa  _ magic the fuck out of a typhoon _ .” 

“For real,” Rinoa mutters, pulling away. “It would have just worried me to know you were hurtling home in a storm. It might have broken my concentration.” 

“Do you know what that felt like?” Squall demands, and he’s  _ angry,  _ slate eyes faintly glowing blue because he’s clearly junctioning Shiva even if it’s not making him calm down like it usually does. “It -- it felt like you --” he stops, shaking his head. 

“Like I was dying?” she asks, gently, touching his chest. It hadn’t felt like that, to her. Honestly, it’d been pretty great. She never gets to use her powers like that. It’s also why having them is dangerous. 

“Like you were going to burn the world,” Squall says, and rakes a hand through his hair. The glow in his eyes starts to fade and he looks maybe just a little abashed. “I know there’s nothing I could do, but at least if I knew that was coming, it would help. It was a lot, Rin.” 

All right, maybe he has a point there. “I -- didn’t know I was going to do it, Squall. I just sort of...did it? I don’t know if I can even tell you what  _ it  _ was, either.” She chews nervously on her bottom lip for a second. “I just knew that I could stop it.” 

Squall sighs. “I know. But I -- I just don’t like the thought you were in danger and I wasn’t here. Either of you,” he adds. 

“I don’t have a fancy bond to communicate with you instantly,” Seifer reminds him. 

Squall gives him a decidedly unimpressed look. “You have a phone, don’t you? Does the same thing.” 

“In a  _ typhoon _ ? You think the signal would get through?” 

“Okay! Let’s be glad we’re all safe, and Squall, honestly, you can’t always be around when bad things happen.” She leans up and kisses him. “We should get out of here so Seifer can finish dinner.” 

“Seriously,” Seifer mutters. “The two of you could burn dinner just by standing next to the stove.” 

“Because we’re hot,” Squall says, as deadpan as ever. His eyes have lost their arctic sheen and look like the color of the still-waterlogged sky. 

“That was bad and you should feel bad,” Seifer says, but he grabs Squall by his hair, kisses him, then points. “Go put your gunblade down, you heathen, before it gets sauce on it.” 

His eyes flicker once to Rinoa and then he turns back to the stove. Rinoa follows Squall down the hall to the bedroom. Best to just tell him about the kiss, then she doesn’t have to worry about it anymore. 

***

“Something happened while you were gone that I -- I should tell you about,” Rinoa says, sitting on the middle of the bed and watching Squall unpack. 

“Something other than the typhoon you stopped with sorceress magic?” Squall glances up from the bag he’s unpacking. “Did you also stop a meteor? Awaken an ancient sea goddess?” 

She makes a face at him. “Yes, both of those. No, it wasn’t either of those things.” 

“What is it?” He must be sensing her sudden apprehension, because he goes all serious at her. “I can tell you’re worried.” 

“I -- Seifer and I -- when I was done with the -- the thing, we kissed,” she says, quickly, the words tripping over each other in her rush to just get them out. “It sort of just happened. Um.” She always thought that was a lame excuse for sexual infidelity, and yet here she was. 

_ You didn’t cheat on him! You kissed his boyfriend who was once your boyfriend who you live with, stop it.  _

Squall blinks, then frowns. “Okay. Yeah, that -- probably not a good idea.” 

She feels  _ terrible.  _ “I know.” Rinoa twists the bedding beneath her fingers and wishes her glass of wine wasn’t still in the kitchen. 

“I mean, given you’d just been all --” he waves his hands in the way he’s done before, to indicate  _ be a sorceress. _ “You know he’s got issues with that.” 

Wait a second. “No, it -- he actually kissed  _ me _ . I mean, I kissed him back but it was definitely Seifer that started it,” she assures him. 

“Oh. Yeah, no surprise there, he starts stuff a lot.” Squall picks up a dirty bundle of clothing. “But I thought -- why is it making you feel like that, then?” 

“We don’t usually do that, me and Seifer,” she says. 

“Well, yeah. ‘Cause of his issues or whatever,” Squall says, and anyone else Rinoa would give them a talking-to about reducing PTSD and trauma from abuse down to  _ issues or whatever,  _ but it  _ is  _ Squall. “That’s good if he doesn’t have those anymore.” He studies her for a minute. “Isn’t it?”

“It is, yeah. Of course,” she assures him quickly. “But you weren’t here, and I thought maybe it would bother you.” 

“It  _ did _ bother me that I wasn’t here, and you told me it shouldn’t.” Squall narrows his eyes at her. “Stop confusing me with feelings, it’s been a long day.” 

She huffs and tosses one of Angelo’s toys at him, the squeaky malboro that is her favorite. Angelo, who spent the typhoon hiding under her bed, seemed to recover quickly enough and is probably begging Seifer quietly for treats in the kitchen. “I felt guilty for kissing Seifer.” 

“But he kissed you,” Squall says. “Right?” 

“Right. And I kissed him back.” She waits. 

“I’m missing something,” Squall says, staring at her with the single-minded, unblinking intensity he uses for everything from battle plans to figuring out washing machine settings. “That’s how kissing works, so I don’t get why you’re worried I’m mad.” 

“I feel guilty because you’ve never said it’s okay if Seifer and I do that kind of thing when you’re not here,” she says, slowly. 

Squall’s eyes widen. “Wait, is that the rule? Because I definitely don’t tell Seifer every time I kiss you when he’s not here, and vice versa.” 

“But you’re dating both of us,” she reminds him, realizing with something like exasperation that she should just be quiet. Does she want to talk him into being annoyed about something he’s clearly not bothered by --and why? 

“We all live here, though. We had a threesome before I left. Remember? Seifer rimmed me while you sat on my face. That is a thing we did all in the same bed, Rin.” 

“Yes,” she says. That had been pretty great. “I remember, but...do you see? Seifer and I aren’t dating. So it’s like, what if I kissed Zell when you were gone? What would you say, then?” 

“I’d ask if that patio furniture hit you in the head,” Squall says. “But that’s not the same thing.” 

“Why?” 

“Rinoa,” he says, clearly at a loss, “do you  _ want  _ me to be mad about you kissing Seifer?” 

She sighs. “No, of course not.” 

“Then what’s going on?” 

“I feel like we cheated on you because I want to have sex with him and we used to date,” she blurts out. “That’s why.” 

He looks completely confused. “Is that different than how you felt before?” 

“Yes!” She thinks for a second. “No? I didn’t -- I didn’t think I was still attracted to him.” 

Squall snorts. “I’m not great at this, but even I know that’s wrong.” He drops his dirty clothes and walks to the bedroom door. “Seifer!” 

“Squall,” she hisses, scrambling off the bed. 

“What?” comes Seifer’s shouted response, and why are they so loud, do men not have inside voices? 

“Come here,” Squall yells. 

Rinoa looks up at the ceiling and sighs. 

“Why?” 

“Seifer!” 

A few seconds later, Seifer appears in the doorway. “What?” 

Angelo, having followed Seifer in, gives a happy bark at seeing her favorite people in one room and hops right up on the bed. Rinoa pats the dog on the head. 

“Rinoa’s being all weird, so I’ll just ask you -- was it okay when she kissed you? You didn’t get -- like you get?” Squall, because he is completely without tact, twirls his finger next to his own head. 

Seifer is unphased. “No, and wow, what a nice way to say it. And I kissed  _ her _ , so if you’re mad, don’t get pissy with her.” 

“Why does everyone think I’m going to be mad?” Squall looks at both of them, hands on his hips. “I was mad about the typhoon and you both told me I shouldn’t be. Now you think I should be mad about you kissing and liking it? What the fuck, I'm going back to Trabia and living in a cave. They have ancient drawings in them and I  _ swear  _ they made more sense than you two.” 

“I know emotions are very hard for you,” Seifer drawls. “I think because we didn’t know if we could do that when you weren’t here, and probably should have asked first.” 

“Since when have you ever asked permission first for anything?” Squall asks him. “It’s easier to ask forgiveness than permission, you told me that when we were ten.” 

“And you clearly forgot the last part, which was  _ if you don’t get caught you don’t have to do either. _ ” 

Squall shrugs. “Take that up with Rinoa, she’s the one who told on you.” 

“Squall!” 

Seifer opens his mouth, closes it, and shrugs. “Fair, yeah, she did. So you’re not mad? I told you he wouldn’t be mad,” he says, smugly, to Rinoa. 

Rinoa pats Angelo on the head, then points at Seifer. “Angelo, cannon!” 

“Better remember who just gave you those handfuls of tasty ground beef, buddy,” Seifer says to the dog. 

Angelo whines and puts her head on Rinoa’s knee, staring sadly up at her as if apologizing for not being able to attack Seifer. Now her dog feels guilty, too. This is going well. 

“I’m just confused about why I’m not supposed to be mad that the two people I love more than my gunblade almost died and didn’t tell me, but I  _ should  _ be mad that they kissed each other when we all had sex before I left.” Squall leans down and picks up his pile of dirty clothes again. “You have five more seconds before I am done talking about feelings, by the way.” 

Seifer looks at Rinoa. They both know Squall’s Five Second Feelings Warning is not a joke. Squall really will just walk out. 

“If you’re not mad, then we’re fine,” Seifer says. “Don’t put all those clothes in the washing machine at the same time, are you crazy? There’s enough mud on those pants to make a pond, what’d you do, roll around in it?” 

“There’s a lot of mud when snow melts, Trabia is kind of awful. So we’re good, here?” Squall looks hopeful. “I can put these in the wash, and shower, and eat dinner?” 

Seifer shrugs. “Sure, sounds good. Just use the heavy soil setting and split it into two loads, you’re both hopeless at being grown-ups. If it weren’t for me you’d just order pizza and live at the laundromat.” 

Rinoa would argue, but Seifer  _ is _ the one making dinner. She really is a terrible cook. 

“You can kiss Rinoa as long as it doesn’t make you weird,” Squall says, on his way out. “Like, the extra kind of weird you get, not the one you always are and have been since we were kids.” 

Seifer just stares at him. “I can’t believe I love you. Like. Honestly. I sometimes wonder how that even happened.” 

“I think that all the time,” Squall says, and disappears down the hall. 

Rinoa is left absently patting Angelo, wondering why she doesn’t feel better like she should. 

***

In all the drama of the last few weeks -- typhoons, kissing Seifer, Squall trying to use his words, and the washing machine they did, in fact, end up needing to replace (“Then what  _ does  _ the ‘heavy’ setting mean?” “It’s for the  _ soil level,  _ idiot, not the load size!”), Rinoa doesn’t get a chance to bring up the whole Esthar trip to Seifer until Laguna calls to see if they want to reschedule. They can’t make definite plans, which she knows bums Laguna out, but he seems cheered when she says that maybe whenever they do take him up on the airship offer, Squall can come, too. 

“And you don’t have to worry,” Rinoa says sweetly. “No matter how dire Seifer made it sound, I really am not all that upset about my father. We’ve never had a good relationship.” 

“Yeah, I know, I was never close with my parents, either,” Laguna says to her. “But he seemed to think maybe you didn’t want to be home alone when they were off in --” he stops. “You’re sneaky.  _ Sneaky _ .” 

She just laughs and wishes him well, then goes to find Seifer. 

“Did you tell Laguna about my father?” 

Seifer’s lifting weights again. He’s been working out a lot, actually, since the typhoon. Or the kiss. He’s finally been cleared from his concussion, and under much protest, bought a used pickup from a guy in Balamb. It came in handy when they needed to get the new washer. 

“Might have, why? Wow, he wasn’t supposed to tell you. Thanks a lot, childhood crush. All my dreams destroyed.” 

Rinoa shakes her head. “He didn’t, I’m just smarter than you think I am. Thanks, though.” 

“Even though it ended up with you sorceress-ing a typhoon away from our house, making our boyfriend freak out while I tried not to get another concussion?” Seifer lifts the weight bar again, a slow controlled press up and down. “Wow, this is why I don’t do nice things for people.” 

“You do so!” 

“Name one,” Seifer says, repeating his movement. “It can’t be sex or have to do with you or Squall.” 

That he includes her makes her smile, but she has an answer on the ready. 

“Or Fu and Rai,” he adds, doing another rep. “Or my students, I only do that because it makes my life easier.” 

Damn it. “Well. The point is, thanks for doing it for me. Or trying. It was nice. I would have liked the trip, and now we can just drag Squall along with us next time.” 

“Yeah, I guess getting to annoy the ice prince always adds something special to any occasion,” Seifer agrees. He sets the bar on the stand and turns his head toward her. “Do I need to charge you by the minute for the show, here?” 

“Oh, I see. One kiss and you think I can’t keep my hands off you?” Rinoa puts a hand on her hip. 

Seifer’s smirk is the one he gives Squall, all the time, when he’s trying to use snark as foreplay. And it works, with Squall, literally every time. Seifer’s smirk is a potent thing, he’s better at it than anyone she’s ever met. “My track record here is pretty stellar, you have to agree.” 

The room suddenly feels charged, and Rinoa realizes that this -- flirting, it’s definitely flirting -- is different, with Seifer. She’s older and wiser, sure, but she doesn’t have the bond like she does with Squall. Not that Seifer is subtle, because he isn’t. He wears his heart on his sleeve, a lot like she does. “You really didn’t have any....problems, last time?” 

“Staring at me like you want to lick me gets me hot, and makes me want you to straddle me on this bench,” Seifer says, and wow, she’s also remembering how not-subtle he is in bed with Squall. “Talking about my fucked-up issues makes me want to say something mean so you’ll leave me alone.” 

“I have no idea what to say to that,” Rinoa says, unsure if she’s more turned on or amused or what. 

“I find that dating Squall, it helps to present things in the simplest, choice-based way. That way he’s not so easily confused.” 

“Seifer,” she says, giggling a little. “That’s awful.” 

“I learned it from you,” he says, and she laughs outright. 

“If you were Squall, you’d punch me in the stomach,” he continues. “Try that.” 

“You just want to show off your abs,” she accuses. 

He grins at her. It’s even sexier than the smirk. “Maybe. They’re pretty great.” He pulls up his workout shirt to show her. He’s not lying. They  _ are  _ great. 

“Do you really want me to straddle you?” she asks, wanting to be clear. She’s going to do it, if he says  _ yes.  _

“Oh, my god, what do you want? An engraved invitation? Yes, okay? I -- kissing you was great, and sure, fine, part of it was how I didn’t  _ freak out  _ or  _ have issues  _ or whatever, but Rinoa, I’ve been into you since I was sixteen, did you think I’d stopped?” 

“Yes,” she says, blinking. “Honestly, I thought that.” They’d tried to kill each other. They probably  _ had  _ killed each other, a time or two. Technically. 

“Did you?” 

“Well. For a little while, yeah.” Like, say, when he was trying to feed her to an evil sorceress. Great, now she was being -- ugh. “Sorry. I can really ruin some good flirting, can’t I?” 

“Princess, you’ve got nothing on our boyfriend.” He sits up and grabs a towel, wiping off his face and then taking a long drink from a water bottle before speaking again. “You want the truth? I do want to try it again. I -- was going to --” He groans and immediately flops back down. “Ask Squall. What is my life right now?” 

“At the point where maybe asking permission  _ is  _ better than asking forgiveness?” 

“You’re the actual worst.” Seifer smiles despite the words. “In the wise words of our boyfriend...whatever. Do you want to?” 

She does. “Yeah, I do.” 

“Well, then come over here,” Seifer says, bossily. He adds, quickly, “If I freak out I’ll say something. Okay?” 

“Okay.” She giggles and puts her hands on her face. “This -- isn’t this a little weird?” 

“It was a hot a minute ago, and now it’s getting weird, so, this is how my entire life goes, apparently,” he says. He pats his lap. “Come on, climb up here, let’s see if the magic’s still there.” 

“You -- I can’t with you, the quips are funny when you’re saying them to Squall. Now it makes me want to punch you, kinda.” She does it before she loses her nerve, swinging a leg over him and settling on his lap. “I’m not going to, though.” 

“I’d be into it,” Seifer says, with his rakehell smile. “It’s nice to be the one making someone stop talking for once.” WIth that, he slides a hand up her neck and pulls her down to kiss her. 

She kisses back but doesn’t push, settles her hands on his shoulders and lets him set the pace. They don’t have a bond, but she tries to send warm, happy vibes at him anyway -- that she likes this, wants him, that she might be a sorceress but she’d never hurt him. 

“Rin, I’m great, could you stop with the healer shit and can we make out already?” Seifer’s voice is gravel-rough, just like it is when he’s doing this with Squall and saying  _ fuck me, hurry up, god, stop being such a fucking tease already.  _

Rinoa swats him on the shoulder. “Aren’t you supposed to be the romantic?” 

Seifer sticks his tongue out at her, so she leans down and sucks on it, and then she stops worrying when Seifer  _ moans  _ and pulls her tight against him. She’d say she feels seventeen but nope, he’s way better at this now and  _ good job, Squall, you have trained him up right.  _

She runs her hands up his chest while kissing him, enjoying the muscles beneath her fingers. Seifer’s tall and broad, muscular in a different way that Squall, and being on top of him is sort of like being on a chocobo. 

“Just because I’m not freaking out doesn’t mean you can  _ laugh,  _ Heartilly.” 

“It’s -- never mind,” she assures him quickly, and then, “I -- can tell Squall. About this? If you want. He’s almost home from his run.”

Seifer doesn’t answer, but he kisses her again and she feels his cock getting hard against her ass so, okay, that sounds like a yes. 

Rinoa decides that him wearing a shirt is silly, and it’s also damp with sweat, so she pushes it up and off him before she kisses him again. His hands are on her back, rubbing up and down, and despite the intimacy of the position he’s being strangely chaste about it. 

Or maybe she’s just thinking about him at seventeen, full steam ahead and trying to get her shirt off as quickly as he could. 

“For the record, not mad,” a voice says, and they both turn to see Squall standing in the doorway. “But it’s making me nervous you have that bar there, Seifer. You just had a concussion.” 

The bar lifts and re-settles elsewhere in the corner, thanks to Squall’s Float spell. 

“Commander Killjoy,” Seifer mutters, then pulls her down to kiss her again. “His one true talent.” 

Squall just watches them, his approval and interest a warm buzz in her blood that adds to her growing arousal. “I have a few others. You told me about them in the shower this morning.” 

“Maybe we should charge  _ him  _ for the show,” Rinoa teases, breathing hard as she smiles down at Seifer. 

“He can afford it,” Seifer says. “Maybe. We should charge a lot. We’re pretty hot, aren’t we, Squall?” 

“Why’s Rinoa’s shirt still on?” is Squall’s response to that. 

Seifer goes still for a second. “Oh, my god. You don’t get to give me pointers on making out, you don’t even  _ like  _ making out. If I don’t take my shirt off you’ll just leave it on.” 

Rinoa tucks her head on Seifer’s shoulder and laughs. “That’s kind of true, Squall. You’re a main event kind of guy.” 

Squall doesn’t look bothered. “Then, great, you guys can take two hours to get someone’s shirt off, I don’t mind.” He smiles, but then says immediately, “But I really don’t think you should fuck on that weight bench, try the bed.” 

“We’re making out,” Seifer says with a sigh. He looks at Rinoa and rolls his eyes. 

“Okay. I’m going to have a shower and get off thinking about you guys, and I bet I’ll be done before you get her shirt off, but have fun.” He gives them a SeeD salute and turns to leave. 

“Squall,” Seifer calls out, hands on Rinoa’s waist. 

“If you ask me if I mind one more time, I’m going to say  _ yes  _ just to be a dick,” Squall calls back. 

“He’s already a dick,” Seifer mutters, and pulls her down to kiss her again. “Mmm. I forgot how much I liked doing this with you.” 

Rinoa flushes, both from the compliment and how turned on she is. “Me, too,” she says, and she’s not sure how much more they’re going to do, here, but she runs her hands up and down his chest and wriggles a little on his lap. 

She can feel his cock getting harder beneath her, and she wants to suck it. She actually forgets for a second and  _ thinks _ it, as if Seifer could pick up her intentions like Squall can. But Squall isn’t tuning them out, because she gets a rush of approval and a suggestion that maybe  _ Squall  _ would really like it if she did that for Seifer. 

“I -- ah,” she says, a little flustered because she’s not used to being as open with Seifer. But honestly, she’s done things with Squall in front of him, watched the two of them together…this shouldn’t be so difficult. “I want to go down on you.” 

Seifer groans and then snorts. “Say it dirty and I’ll think about it.” 

“Seifer!” She hits him lightly on the shoulder. 

He grabs her hand, carries it up to his mouth and sucks on her fingers. He’s got such pretty eyes, Seifer, almond-shaped and the color of the sea when it’s  _ not  _ hurtling itself at their house. “I know you can,” he says, licking and sucking at her fingers and sending sparks of heat right down to her clit. “You’ve told Squall to suck me off. You’ve told me you like watching me suck  _ him  _ off. So, c’mon, Princess.” Seifer smirks up at her. “Get a little dirty and ask to suck my cock.” 

Rinoa shivers a little -- and then pulls her hand out and drags her wet fingers down his face. She’s seen Squall do that to him, and she likes how it turns that smirk into a moan. “Seifer? Let me suck your cock.” She bats her eyelashes at him. “Pretty please?” 

“Dork. Okay.” He laughs at the look she gives him, but then he kisses her. “Maybe we should move off this bench, though.” 

They end up on one of the mats on the floor, with Seifer on his back and his pants pulled down. He takes off her shirt and she kneels between his legs, making a show of it as she slips her bra off and tosses it to the floor. Then she slides down and teases his balls by rubbing her breasts against then, grinning up at him. 

“You can do that if you want,” he gasps, “But I’m gonna pull a Squall on you and get off in two seconds, just a warning.” 

She laughs and takes his cock in her mouth, and it’s one of those odd moments of something being both familiar -- he’s the first guy she’d ever done this with -- and new, because he’s not seventeen anymore and she likes to think she’s gotten better. 

She feels a tug on her awareness and lifts her head, saying, “Squall wants to watch,” and Seifer’s answer is a moan and a nod and him grabbing her head to get her mouth back on his cock. 

She’s glad that he’s enjoying himself, because she’s seen Squall do this for him and it’s always rough in a way she finds really hot to watch but isn’t sure if she wants to do herself. Seifer’s not forcing it, though, and she uses a lot of tongue and teases him until she catches sight of Squall at the door, watching with this little pleased smile on his face. 

“You -- gonna come, Rin,” Seifer gasps out, and she goes hot all over at how rough his voice sounds. He’s also stroking his hand through her hair, not pulling, just feeling it slide between his fingers. 

“She likes it on her face,” Squall says, from the doorway.

Seifer turns his head to see Squall watching, and his fingers tighten in her hair before he comes in her mouth. She’s always liked doing this but Squall generally fucks her before he finishes, and she pulls off with a final long lick and sits back. She feels very smug at how he looks, sprawled there with his pants pulled down and still catching his breath.

In fact, she throws her arms up in victory and smiles in pleased triumph. “There’s probably a Triple Triad metaphor for this, right?” 

She’s not really expecting an answer, but then again, she should have remembered who she’s dealing with. These two  _ always  _ have an answer. 

“Open rules?” Squall suggests. 

“Swap?” asks Seifer. 

“How about just  _ winning _ ,” Rinoa says, shaking her head. 

“You should ride his face and go for Three Open,” Squall offers. 

Seifer pushes up on his elbows and looks over at Squall. He frowns. “Wait, how would that make it a Three Open?” 

“Seifer,” Squall admonishes. He’s leaning against the doorway, arms crossed over his chest. He’s only wearing a pair of tight boxer-briefs and his erection is clearly visible through the fabric. 

“Yeah, what am I saying? You should definitely do that,” Seifer says to Rinoa. “Get up here, let me get you off.” 

She’s just about to tell him to  _ ask me dirty,  _ but he totally will and she’s not inclined to wait. Rinoa can not think of a single reason not to, so she stands up and strips while Seifer kicks his pants and underwear all the way off. 

“You want in on this?” Seifer asks Squall. 

Rinoa rolls her eyes at the way he says that like it really  _ is  _ a Triple Triad match, but honestly, she didn’t really expect anything different. 

“I want to watch. Then I want to take you both to bed and fuck you. Both. In case that’s not clear,” Squall says, in that way he has where he makes his sex fantasies sound like battle plans. 

“Commander Leonhart in the building,” Seifer mutters, then pulls her in and kisses her, taking his time about it. “Hey. That was great. I knew it would be, I mean, I  _ did  _ teach you everything you know --” 

“Still can turn you into a Tonberry Card, Almasy,” Rinoa murmurs against his mouth. “Now, lay back and show me you remember everything  _ I  _ taught  _ you _ .” 

There’s a moment where she’s worried that maybe this will be the thing that trips him over into bad memories, but Seifer doesn’t seem to be anything but into it. She straddles him and lets him hold her steady with those big hands of his, and she motions for Squall to come over so he can grab her hands for additional support. 

Seifer’s got a quick tongue just about all the time, and this is no exception. The sound he makes when he pulls her down and buries his face in her cunt is obscene and hot, and her head goes back, fingers tightening on Squall’s as Seifer starts working her clit with his tongue. 

She glances up at Squall, and there’s so much heat in his expression she feels fire starting to burn in his palms. She’s been careful to keep her magic under control but it’s wavering a bit, although honestly, it’s not going to take her that long at all to come. 

Since Squall has her steady, Seifer slides his hands down to her inner thighs, spreading her open so she can grind down on his face. The mats are great but they’re not that padded, and her knees hurt but she doesn’t care. It’s still raining outside and the inside of the little workout room is humid and she’s covered in sweat, and she’s so close -- 

Seifer makes another sound against her, tongue rubbing with perfect speed and pressure, and Rinoa feels her thighs start to shake as she grabs harder at Squall’s hands. 

“That’s good, yeah,” Squall says roughly. “She’s about to come, don’t stop, Seifer.” 

Seifer, in pure Seifer Almasy fashion, takes one hand off her thigh to flip Squall off. 

Rinoa would laugh, but then she comes on Seifer’s face, against his mouth. He works her through it until she falls back on her ass, between his head and Squall’s feet. Her whole body is trembling and shaking in pleasure, and honestly, if she hadn’t been kneeling on those mats she probably would have gone for another one. 

Squall is rubbing a hand over himself, but he doesn’t seem to be in too much of a hurry to get off. Probably because he’ll be able to go three times before they sleep, as she and Seifer know better than anyone. 

“Hey.” Seifer flails a hand up and pats her on the ankle. “Rin.” 

She loves that he uses that nickname. Rinoa looks down at him expectantly, and he tilts his head back so he can smile up at her. It’s a real smile, too. Not even a smirk. 

She expects a quip, a Triple Triad metaphor, a snark at Squall or something cocky. Instead, his eyes gleam bright for a second as he blinks and says in a soft voice, “Thank you.” 

He reaches out and grabs her hand, squeezes it, and carries it down to his chest -- then presses it against where Squall’s Griever charm rests warm against his heart.

_ I’m in love with him _ , she thinks, breathless for a moment at the realization.  _ Because he’s him, again. Cocky asshole with a heart of gold, just a little bruised. I’m in love with him because I have been since I was sixteen. I’m in love with both of them, so much.  _

It should freak her out, maybe. And maybe it will, when the adrenaline wears off. But for now, all she can think is,  _ we did it. We really did it. We survived.  _

Rinoa gives him a wobbly smile, her eyes as bright as his. “You’re welcome.” 

“Um,” Squall says, backing toward the door, clearly getting a read on the emotions and wanting nothing to do with it. “I’ll just - see you guys in the bedroom.” 

Seifer laughs. “Man, is he predictable or what?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some conversations that need to happen, and that's in the next bit. Thanks for reading! :D


	4. i was waiting to bloom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The thing is, Ultimecia didn’t use mind control like you see on movies or television, right, it wasn’t that...overt. You didn’t just blindly walk around doing what she wanted like a zombie.” 
> 
> “She did some of that, too,” Rinoa says, dryly. “I never had a strong desire to go spacewalking, believe me.” 
> 
> \-----
> 
> (In which Rinoa and Seifer have a conversation that's long overdue, and our V becomes the triad it always should have been.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Marmolita for her encouragement to finish this! Expect one-shots after I replay the HD remake, which I've pre-ordered :D 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who's reading -- this polyship is dear to my heart and I'm happy there are those of you out there who also enjoy it!!

Rinoa never realized how much Seifer _ wasn’t _touching her until he suddenly starts doing it.

Not just in bed but when she’s at her desk, or they’re all watching a television show on the couch. It was as if he was just waiting for permission, for it to be okay. 

Being affectionate is so natural for Seifer, and she hates that part of what Ultimecia did to him was taking his natural affinity for touch and turning it into something horrid. 

The only thing that’s making her a little uncertain is the feelings that she, at least, has for Seifer. She has no idea if Seifer feels the same way, and it’s driving her a little crazy. With Squall, she knew he had feelings for her, the part that drove her nuts was that he wouldn’t just _ admit _it. But she doesn’t have that same certainty with Seifer. Just that smile of his, the one she remembers from being sixteen, the one that finds its way to his face even more than his smirk, nowadays. A boxful of awkward teenage sentiments tied with a silk white ribbon. 

Does he love her, or does he just _ want _her? 

_ Or does he just want to win, like he always does, and taking you to bed is one more victory against the sorceress he was never strong enough to fight? _

She hates that she thinks that, but she can’t help it. She knows Seifer. His drive to be adored, his desire to _ win _, it’s never going to go away. It’s just part of who he is. 

But she’s watched him with Squall, the careful dance they do, their old rivalry intermixed with affection and love. Squall knows every dark part of Seifer and loves him with the same intensity he loves Rinoa. If anyone can help her figure this out, it’s him. Besides, she should probably tell her boyfriend she’s in love with _ his _boyfriend. 

Honestly, her life is so weird. 

She finds Squall outside, on the beach, running through forms with Lionheart. He’s so fluid and graceful, it’s a joy just to watch him. 

It’s also really hot, but then again, it’s _ Squall. _He’s hot when he’s sleeping. It’s a gift. 

He sees her come outside and stops so he can join her on the deck, putting his gunblade on the table and pushing his hair out of his face. The older he gets, the more Squall looks like Laguna -- and the longer hair just makes the resemblance even stronger. Rinoa certainly doesn’t mind, and she know Seifer doesn’t, either. 

“What?” he asks, catching her grin. 

“I was just thinking you look like your hot dad,” she says, laughing outright at the look that gets her. “What? It’s true.” 

“You’re as bad as Seifer.” Squall tugs a bandana out of his back pocket and uses it not to push his hair out of his way, but to clean his gunblade. Of course. 

“Can I ask you something about that?” Rinoa asks, figuring she might as well get it out of the way. 

“About being as bad as Seifer, or having the hots for my dad?” 

She huffs a laugh. “Squall. About Seifer. Literally _ everyone _has the hots for your dad.” 

Squall rolls his eyes, but he doesn’t look mad. He looks good, sprawled in the chair and cleaning his gunblade. The way he slides the rag over it, easy and reverent, makes her shiver. He touches it the same way he touches both her and Seifer in bed. And himself, when he’s lying smug and aroused on the bed while they -- 

_ Not the time, _she tells herself, but he must pick up on the sexual bent of her thoughts. 

“Is this about you and Seifer having sex now?” Squall asks her, sounding suspicious. “Because I know I’m not very good at talking about feelings, but I honestly don’t think I can make it any clearer than I have that I like it. If you want to do it in front of me again later, though, I’ll give it a try.” He throws her a SeeD salute. He’s in a good mood. 

She snorts. “I know you like that part, believe me.” Rinoa chews on her bottom lip, wondering how to ask. The clouds hang heavy and low in the sky, full of rain that will no doubt soon begin to fall. 

“Then what is it?” Squall asks, going back to cleaning Lionheart. 

“I have -- feelings, for Seifer,” she says, carefully. “And I guess I’m worried that’s not okay.” 

“Like, bad ones?” Squall glances up. He gives her that small little smile of his. “I mean, I’ve been there.” 

He says that, but Rinoa doesn’t think Squall and Seifer ever _ hated _each other. Maybe they came close during the war, but from what she can gather from the others and Squall and Seifer’s own conversations, they seemed to be rivals who fell more into the “frenemy” category -- if that -- than straight-up adversaries. “No, not bad ones. Good ones. Like the ones I have for you.” 

He’s still just looking at her, slate-gray eyes the same color as the rain-choked sky. Nothing about him looks upset, or surprised, but maybe he’s not quite getting it. It is _ Squall _. 

_ Say it, you coward, _she thinks to herself. She takes a deep breath. “I love him. Like I -- love you.” Saying it out loud gives her a little thrill, excitement and fear a heady mix in her veins. “Maybe not exactly the same, but I do -- I do love him.”

Squall nods. “Yeah. But you’re still mad about the -- the part where he tried giving you to Ultimecia?” 

“No, I understand why he did that. I understood it at the time, even though I was scared.” She remembers that, how broken and wild he’d looked, the way he’d said her name before Squall and the others rushed into the Lunatic Pandora. 

“Then what did you want to talk about?” 

She shrugs, pulling the sleeves of Seifer’s hoodie down over her hands. “I guess I just didn’t know if I was -” _ allowed _feels gross, as if she needs permission to care about people. She’s always cared about people. “If it was okay,” she finishes, lamely. “Honestly, I don’t know why it makes me nervous.” 

“Feelings are hard?” Squall offers, helpfully. “Although I thought that was just me.” 

“It’s not just you,” she says, gently. “You’re better at them now. Really, you just needed to admit you _ had _feelings in the first place. That was step one.” 

“Fair,” Squall says. “And I had feelings, before. Vague unease and fear of failure are feelings, Rinoa.” 

She giggles. “Squall!” 

“What? It’s true. But I think I’m missing something, so…” Squall looks at her, expectant. “Tell me what I’m missing, Rin.” 

“You don’t...care?” It’s dumb that she would worry about that, but she can’t help how she feels. Especially after teasing Squall about never wanting to admit to having feelings. 

“I also love him,” Squall reminds her. “And you don’t care about that, right? You were the one who said I should.” 

Rinoa gives him a look. “I said you two needed to get the unresolved sexual tension...resolved. I admit I didn’t really get how many feelings you two had for each other, but I’m glad you figured it out and are happy, sure. I like when you’re happy.” 

“I like when you’re happy, too.” Squall smiles at her, soft and sweet. “Also, I mean, I already knew that you loved him.” 

“You could feel it?” she asks, wondering if it was obvious through their bond. She’s never really sure how he experiences that connection, if it’s the same as she does. 

“Well, I mean -- you told me. When I first met you, remember?” Squall finishes with the gunblade, then uses the bandana to tie his hair back, because boys are ridiculous. She’s going to buy him some elastics. 

“Well, yeah, but that’s -- that was before the war,” she reminds him. 

“Does it matter?” Squall leans back in the chair. The ocean is a little rough, the air starting to mist again with rain. Rinoa grabs her phone and snaps a picture. Glancing at how effortlessly gorgeous he looks backlit by the storm-tossed sea, she sends the picture to Seifer with the message _ boyfriend being unfairly pretty. _

“I thought maybe it would? Honestly, I think the real problem is I don’t know how _ he _feels and I’m…afraid he doesn’t feel that way about anyone but you.” 

“But he does,” Squall says. “I mean. You were both in love when you dated, right? Uh. With each other.” 

“Well -- I thought so, yes, but that was a long time ago,” Rinoa says. “It could have been hormones, or -- what? Why are you giving me that look?” 

“It’s _ Seifer _. He does everything on level eleven,” Squall says, then because he’s Squall, adds, “Out of ten levels. You know? I don’t think you have to worry about that.” He shrugs. “Besides, you made me love you and I didn’t even like anyone at the time.” 

Rinoa casts her eyes to the sky and sighs. “It’s a good thing you’re so pretty.” 

“What? I mean, come on, it’s the truth.” Squall rubs his hands over his bare arms as the wind blows in cool from the ocean. She’d offer him the hoodie, but she knows he likes the cold. Shiva’s influence. 

“I know, but it was a long time ago. How do I know he feels like that for me, after -- after everything?” 

Squall squints. “But why -- you didn’t do anything, Rin. Other than fight back, and believe me, Seifer’s into that.” 

Something very simple occurs to her, and it’s that Squall doesn’t think you fall out of love with people. For Squall, the idea of just _ not _loving someone anymore after all the mental gymnastics of admitting the feelings were there in the first place is unthinkable. In his mind, she’s been in love with Seifer all along and the only thing they were navigating was Seifer’s aversion to physical intimacy with a woman. 

She leans back in her chair. Huh. She’s not sure if she ever fell _ out _of love with Seifer, but her feelings are stronger now, more mature than they were. “I do love you both,” she says. “But I don’t have a bond with him, so I’m… not sure if he thinks that way about me, too.” 

“Yeah. I know. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt and the infuriating but hot boyfriend.” Squall smiles briefly to show he’s kidding. “This part is hard, because you have to talk about your feelings. But Rin? You sort of have to, or else you’ll never live it down that I did and you couldn’t.” 

Rinoa gives him a mock glare. “This competition stuff doesn’t work with me, I’m not Seifer.” 

“Excuse me, who _ just last night _ said _ I can come twice as many times as both of you _\--” 

“Right,” Rinoa interrupts, then says, “Whatever,” without even meaning to. 

Squall laughs outright. “Seifer likes talking about feelings and also about himself, this isn’t going to be hard. I bet he won’t be as much of a dick about it as I was. But he’ll probably be smug, because I love him and everything but he _ is _still Seifer.” 

That’s true enough. Rinoa’s phone buzzes, and she sees Seifer has responded to her picture of Squall with _ that asshole used my bandana to clean his gunblade before he put it in his hair, didn’t he. _

_ Yup, _she texts back, then glances up at Squall. “I’ll talk to him,” she says, even though her stomach flips around at the thought. Seifer might like talking about himself but he hates talking about the war, and she honestly doesn’t know what he’s going to say. But Squall’s not wrong -- if he could do it, then she can, too. She’s supposed to be good at this, right? 

“I guess I can text him about wanting to talk to him when he gets home, maybe?” 

“No, don’t do that,” Squall says, eyes wide. “I did that once, before we moved here, when he had his apartment at Garden? And I showed up and he was all…” Squall waves his hands, which Rinoa assumes is some vague attempt to mimic _ worked up _. “He thought I wanted to break up with him, but all I wanted was to ask him if he’d mind helping the gunblade instructor at Trabia set some training guidelines for an advanced class. So it’s probably better to not do that, we don’t want him getting in another motorcycle accident.” 

Rinoa has to laugh. “Noted,” she says, and then, “I’ll just spring it on him when he least expects it.” 

“Probably for the best,” Squall agrees. “You want me to clear out?” 

She almost says _ no, of course not, _but then she remembers how she, herself, let the two of them work things out for themselves without her around. “I -- maybe? It feels bad, to ask you to do that.” 

“It’s okay,” Squall assures her, then pushes up off the chair. He holds a hand out to her, and when she takes it, he pulls her close and kisses her. “Trust me, I don’t mind missing out on feelings conversations that don’t involve me.” 

She kisses him back as it starts to rain. Squall’s skin is cold but his mouth is hot, and she lets herself enjoy the way he tastes and the way he holds her, like she’s something precious and wonderful. 

***

A few days later she gets her chance. Squall stays at Garden to take care of some paperwork, and Rinoa goes to find Seifer in the kitchen making dinner. He’s gotten into cooking more and more as of late, saying he’s never really had the space or energy to do it -- or the captive audience, since, as he says, Rinoa and Squall would burn water trying to boil it. 

Rinoa hops up on the counter, watching him slice vegetables for a salad. She takes a moment to study him as he works, barefoot and wearing workout pants and one of those sleeveless t-shirts that he likes, his tattoo standing out in stark relief on his tanned skin. 

Unlike Squall, he still wears his hair short, but his features are sharper than they were when they first met, and he’s added a lot of lean muscle to go with his height. There’s really no two ways about it -- he’s a babe. She’s pretty sure he knows it, too. 

“Okay, out with it,” he says, not glancing up from the cutting board. “You want something, just say it.” 

Rinoa stalls by reaching out and grabbing a cherry tomato. She pops it in her mouth, the taste sharp and delicious and reminding her of summer. The rainy season is great and all, but after the typhoon she’s pretty much over it. “What do you mean?” 

“Rinoa.” Seifer glances up at her, those strands of his hair falling into his face as usual. “Squall told me he was staying late to do paperwork. _ Squall _ . Doing _ paperwork. Voluntarily. _” 

“What’s that got to do with me?” 

“I’m not the dim bulb in our interpersonal relationship chandelier, remember?” he reaches out and pops another cherry tomato in her mouth. “There, you heathen, I washed that one.” 

She thinks for a moment as she eats it, kicking her feet lightly against the counter. “I thought I should tell you something, It involves feelings, and Squall’s allergic to those.” 

“Okay. You could have just told me you wanted to talk.” Seifer’s eyebrows raise. “Wait, don’t tell me, our boyfriend told you not to because the one time he texted me that I freaked out, right?” 

“Um.” She gives him a winning smile. “Yes?” 

Angelo, who has wandered in to try and stare some treats out of Seifer, barks happily as if she, too, is ratting out Squall. 

“Ugh. Did he also tell you that his follow up to _ I have to talk to you about something _ was _ you’re probably not going to like it _ ? And then when I texted him _ is this about work _ ? He just responded with, _ no, it’s about you _?” Seifer rolls his eyes. “What was I supposed to think? Also, I maintain that just because it was about Trabian gunbladers and not Balamb, it was still technically work and not really about me at all.” 

That’s…so Squall, she actually giggles. “Wow. I should have asked for clarification. But I do want to talk to you, and it’s not about work, and I have no idea if you’re going to like it or not.” 

“Well, give it to me straight,” he says, concentrating on the cutting board. His shoulders are slowly migrating up, and they don’t share a bond but Seifer’s always been easy to read and it’s clear he’s nervous. 

“I have feelings for you.” 

Seifer glances up. He looks confused. “Bad ones?” 

She throws her hands up. “Why is that the going first response around here?” 

“Because it’s me?” Seifer shrugs. “I mean, I wouldn’t blame you if you did.” 

“Seifer, we _ live together. _We share a boyfriend! We sleep together!” She looks for something to throw at him, but all that’s in her reach are the cherry tomatoes so she just eats one instead. 

“There’s not going to be any left in salad if you keep eating those,” Seifer says. He’s still not looking at her. 

“Squall takes them out, anyway, and gives his to me. They’re not bad feelings, of course not. I -- um.” She thinks for a long moment. “I guess I want you to know that it’s not just about sex, for me. This thing with us. Me and you. And I want to know if it’s just me, or if you feel the same. Seifer, can you maybe give me something, here? You’re acting like Squall.” 

He does look up at that, because bless, that will always work on _ both _of them. “I’m thinking, Rin. And yeah, yeah, ha, ha, I know I don’t do that often but I’m trying.” 

Something cold curls in her stomach. “I don’t know that it’s a good sign, if you have to think about whether or not this is just sex, for you” she says, trying for a light quip. It comes out accusatory, because Rinoa wears her heart on her sleeve just as much as Seifer. 

He sighs and puts the knife down, leaning back against the counter and crossing his arms over his chest. “It’s not just about sex, of course it isn’t. I’m not like that. ’You’re great, and you know it. You were amazing when I was a starry-eyed stupid kid, and you’re amazing when I’m an older, probably-still-stupid-but-less-starry-eyed adult.” 

That’s nice to hear -- or it would be, if he wasn’t scowling. Squall was right about how his eyebrows do sort of make him look meaner than he is. “But? There’s a but in there, isn’t there.” 

“It’s -- what I did to you? In the war, on the Lunatic Pandora. It’s inexcusable, and I...I don’t know how to be okay with it.” Seifer’s stare is unblinking and sharp. “I don’t know how to believe _ you _are.” 

That’s not what she expects to hear, but she says, slowly, “Well, you did apologize. But Seifer, I -- I could tell you didn’t want to do it. Even back then, I knew how messed up you were about that.” 

His smile is chilly, and for a moment he looks cold and vicious, like the villain he once was -- however briefly. “I still did it, though. And that’s the thing, Rin. Squall, what I did to him? It doesn’t make sense and I hate it, but it...follows, I guess. We were trained from childhood that maybe one day, we’ll have to fight each other. Not because of ideology, mind you, but for _ money _ . Because two sides who _ do _ have ideological differences both hired us. That’s the kind of thing Cid had in mind and I know that’s not Garden, now, but it _ was _. And if Quistis and Chicken-Wuss --” 

“Seifer!” 

“Zell, fine, and Irvine and Selphie, if they want to pretend that _ wasn’t _something we learned, well, they can but I know the truth and so does Squall. We were raised to be killers for hire and that absolutely meant we might have to work together one day, then try and kill each other the next. And I didn’t hate Squall, I don’t think, but our relationship was...complicated. I wanted him to notice me, I was jealous that he was better than me, I was constantly trying to both best him and get his attention. So, yeah, it makes sense that when I was under Ultimecia’s control, all those darker feelings took over and made me really enjoy strapping Squall to an electric wall and torturing him. I finally had his attention, he was at my mercy, and when he died in that prison it would mean I won.” 

She can’t help the wince -- and it’s not just for Squall and how he suffered at Seifer’s hands, either. It’s also for Seifer, whose natural insecurities and jealousies toward his childhood friend and rival were weaponized and used against him. “The whole thing is terrible, and you guys have talked about that, right?” 

“Sure. But here’s the thing about that, like I said -- I might have hurt him, killed him, even without a war. On a regular goddamn assignment that was about, fuck, I don’t know -- border disputes or trade regulations or whatever the fuck. That’s what being a teenager who kills for money _ means _. Violence and competition is basically what Squall and I were taught, along with some camping skills and I guess some rudimentary attempts at like, math.” 

She snorts despite herself. “Definitely rudimentary. You both need a phone app to figure out the tip when we go out to eat.” 

“My point, right?” Seifer fiddles with the hem of his shirt. “So yeah, I hated what I did but in the weirdest way, it almost makes sense that I’d act like that. The thing is, Ultimecia didn’t use mind control like you see on movies or television, right, it wasn’t that...overt. You didn’t just blindly walk around doing what she wanted like a zombie.” 

“She did some of that, too,” Rinoa says, dryly. “I never had a strong desire to go spacewalking, believe me.” 

He gives a harsh laugh. “Right. We were both tools, just different kinds, I guess. She needed me to believe I wanted to do the things I did, and I -- did. Some of them. And that’s the thing I can’t get over, about what I did to you.” 

“You were mad at me, because I showed up with Squall?” 

“Duh,” Seifer says. “Princess, I was jealous as hell, and honestly I couldn’t tell you which of you I was more jealous _ of _ . But no, that’s not it -- or not the whole story. Rinoa, you weren’t Squall. You weren’t someone I grew up thinking _ okay, but one day, I might have to kill you. _ We weren’t rivals, and I didn’t think of you as someone I wanted to best, or beat. I wanted your attention, but _ I had it. _ I loved you _ so fucking much _, and yet...I still gave you to her.” His voice gets tight. “I -- I only ever loved you. I never hated you a day in my life, even when I saw you with Squall, but in the end it didn’t matter.” 

“Seifer,” Rinoa says, sliding off the counter and approaching him -- carefully, because he’s got the _ do not touch me _vibe going on -- and standing in front of him. “That’s what she did, though. She controlled through darker emotions, right? Well, you loved me so you were afraid for me, maybe you thought giving me to her would keep her from killing me?” 

“I thought giving you to her was what she wanted, and would get me out of the mess I’d made,” he says. “Don’t give me credit I don’t deserve. I knew exactly what she was going to do and I was pretty sure you’d end up dead, and despite my never having a mean thought about you, what did I do?” He smiles again, bitter and cold. “I loved you and I was too afraid of her to save you.” 

“I threw about sixteen high-powered offensive spells at you,” Rinoa reminds him. “I fought back. I won, actually, remember?” 

“That’s fine, it doesn’t matter. I mean, other than I’m glad about that, obviously. What matters is that I did it all. And then you were with Squall, and I thought, okay, fine. I was the bad guy, I lost, and the hero gets the girl. It’s what should happened.” 

Rinoa huffs and gives him a _ look _, “I’m not a prize, I’m a person. I loved you and I still do, despite everything, because I know you weren’t yourself when you did that to me.” 

“But what if I was? Huh? What if that _ wasn’t _her? What if it was just me being a coward?” Seifer’s voice is as edged as the knife he’s been using. His arms are tightening around himself, like he’s about to throw a Shield spell. 

“Well, what if it was?” Rinoa asks, very carefully. “I forgive you, so you don’t get to try and make me hate you so that you feel better about it.” 

“I know that, and I’m not -- I’m not trying to do that, I’m just saying that I don’t --” he stops, looks away. “I don’t think I deserve it, okay? You. I don’t think I deserve _ you _. Of course I love you, Rinoa. I never stopped. But I don’t think I’m very good at loving you, considering what I almost did to you.” 

The thing is, Rinoa does understand what he’s saying, but she also needs him to know that she’s not a war prize, no pretty bauble or ribbon to be tied on a knight’s lance after some victorious battle. “I think we’re hard-wired to survive. You were beaten and afraid and you knew it, and yeah, you tried to hurt me. The point is you regret it, and Seifer, you regretted it when you were doing it, I was _ there _.” 

“I still did it,” Seifer says, quietly. “I was still a coward.” 

The funny thing about the two of them, Seifer and Squall, is that they each got what the other wanted. Squall is objectively better at following orders, at putting aside feelings to get the job done. Seifer only ever wanted to be a hero, and by some odd turn of events, their fates were switched and Squall became the hero, Seifer the soldier expected to follow orders -- no matter how terrible those orders were. 

“And you and Squall -- Squall couldn’t even admit to having feelings for you and he rescued you from space. You’d just met him and you went into time compression to save him.” 

“I went into time compression to save _ everyone _,” Rinoa reminds him. “Even you. And I never hated you, even when you were my enemy. Even, yeah, when you tried to feed me to an evil sorceress.” 

“I never hated you, either. Even when I was under the influence of said evil sorceress. And I still tried to feed you to her. So I - I don’t know what that means, but I don’t like it.” 

“So you don’t want to have feelings for me? Or me to have them for you? Even though we live together, sleep together -- Seifer, we have a _ life together, _and I don’t know about you but I didn’t get into this expecting it to end. Did you really think one day we’ll just toss you out?” 

“Nah, I’m a fucking optimist, Princess. Of course I want this. I just can’t let myself believe that after everything, I do get the girl. And yeah, yeah, I know you say you’re not a prize but you _ are _ . You’re too good for Squall and you’re _ definitely _too good for me.” 

“True,” Rinoa says, smiling a little. “But I guess it’s a good thing neither one of you get to decide how I feel or what I want._ I _do. I love you both, I want you both, and I want the three of us to be together -- it feels right, Seifer, and you know it does.” 

“Yeah, and that’s why I can’t let myself have it. Don’t you get it?” Seifer asks, his pretty eyes narrowed. “I didn’t do anything to deserve it. I just fucked it all up.” 

Rinoa moves so she’s standing right in front of him, and since he’s way taller, she levitates a little so they’re at eye level. “You don’t get to use me as a prize _ or _a weapon to make yourself feel bad.” She pokes him in the chest. “Got it?” 

“I don’t even know what to say right now,” Seifer says, blinking. “Okay? I mean, you can’t make me not feel bad about it.” 

“Exactly. And if I’ve forgiven you, then the only one who’s going to make you feel better, the only one who can forgive you? Is you.” She settles back on her feet, after one last good poke in the chest. “If we don’t move past this, Seifer, she really _ does _win.” 

“It’s like you think turning this into a competition will make you get your way,” Seifer says, and some of that awful coldness has dissipated from his voice. He relaxes a little. “Fuck off, why does that always work?” 

“It’s like I know you,” she teases, gently. “Seifer, I’m not going to _ make _you be my boyfriend. If you don’t want anything other than what we have, then, that’s fair. It’s your choice and you get to make it. But don’t not have what you want because of her. She’s gone. We’re here. That’s really the only truth that matters.” 

Seifer stares at her, his eyes bright -- and then he pulls her into a hug, arms tight around her. “Squall and I don’t deserve you at all,” he says, against her hair. His hand rubs up and down her back, and she presses her face against him and hears his heart beating fast against his chest. “Me, because I’m an impulsive and melodramatic moron with a hero complex who makes every bad choice in the book, and Squall because he would rather do paperwork than talk about feelings.” 

“I think he wanted us to have time to ourselves,” she says, smiling against his shirt, hugging him tight. He’s not the gallant would-be knight he once was, but he’s something else -- tarnished and chipped at the edges but still here, still _ trying _, and maybe one day he’ll see just how extraordinary that really is. How much she values that he’s not perfect, and how he’s still convinced it’s possible to be a hero if you just try hard enough. Squall’s every shade of gray in the book, but Seifer burns as bright as the sun -- and she loves them both. 

“That’s not it and you know it. Come on, I love him too, but he’s allergic to this shit.” Seifer’s arms are still tight around her. His voice is choked again, and her own eyes are filling up with happy tears. She forgave him a long time ago and she even told him, back when he first showed up to teach at Garden. But maybe now he finally believes that she meant it. 

“So we’re good?” she asks, when they pull away. “Should I tell the boyfriend he can come home now?” 

“I got this.” Seifer takes his phone, and he’s going for his usual cocky grin but the emotional conversation has taken a toll because it’s just a bit too shaky for him to pull it off. “Hey, Leonhart. Me and our girlfriend are done with our heart-to-heart, it’s safe to come back, now.” He scoffs. “I made dinner, you asshole, get home before it gets cold.” 

Rinoa beams, steals another cherry tomato, and then gives one to Angelo. She thinks about time compression, wandering lost and alone through that vast expanse of desert. She’d found Squall there and brought him back, and it feels a little like maybe she did that for Seifer, too. 

The truth, she realizes, is that if there’s a hero in this story? It’s _ her _.

And if she thinks of Squall and Seifer as _ her _prizes...they’ll just have to get over it. She’s pretty sure she’s earned it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the scene I have been wanting to write with these two for _ages_. I hope it delivered a satisfactory amount of feels when reading it :D


End file.
